The simplest way of explaining anxiety is to say that it occurs because we have an agenda which is highly important to us, but which for some reason we suspect that we cannot meet. When we find ourselves in this situation it is the easiest…
It is fair to say that we are all, from time to time, get upset by things that go on around us. Sometimes we get upset more and sometimes we get upset less – sometimes something that really would annoy me a lot won’t annoy…
We all spend an awful lot of time wanting things to be different from the way in which they actually are. This is such a common thing to do that we don’t really see any harm in it. We see the ‘harm’ in the fact…
We have two usual ways of reacting to urges (or impulses), moods and thoughts, and both of them trap us and make us even more helpless the next time the urge, mood, or thought comes along. These two ways of reacting are called ‘acting out’…
Anxiety can be defined as an unsuccessful search for some sort of safety, or ‘security’ – it happens when I am trying to obtain a sense of security which just isn’t possible for me to obtain. This isn’t a complete definition however because if I…
Our normal attitude towards life is to say “I will accept the situation when it is right” or – alternatively – “I will accept myself when I am right (i.e. when I meet the required standard). This type of attitude makes perfect sense from the…
What we very rarely realize is that when we feel bad, it is our thinking that keeps us feeling bad, despite the fact that the reason for our thinking is to try to help ourselves extricate ourselves from the pain. We think because we’re ‘problem…
The key to finding freedom from compulsivity (which is where we very strongly feel that we have to do something!) is being able to hang out in our discomfort zones. It is the inability to hang out in our discomfort zones that makes us helpless…
There are many ways to explain anxiety. The most essential way is probably to define anxiety as what happens when we refuse (or attempt) to eliminate radical risk. This definition is very helpful, but in order to appreciate it we first have to explain what…
In each of us there is something that might be called the engine of automatic reacting. Another way to explain this ‘engine’ would be to say that it is ‘force of habit’. This would be the more usual way to talk about automatic reacting, but…